I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
