so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
