It's like a parade of train wrecks.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
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