We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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