how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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