yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
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