he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
