my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
Randomize
