You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
