omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
