oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
