Whod you bang
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
