I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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