Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Why can't burritos get me drunk
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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