This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
