dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
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