Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
she woke up with a sticky ear
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
