I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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