If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Randomize
