You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Randomize
