I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
