I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
I forget how to act sober
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