Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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