I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
