doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
