They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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