You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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