It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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