That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
