He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
