TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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