obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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