dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
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