Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Randomize
