I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Randomize
