Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
