I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize
