I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
