Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
