i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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