It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
