thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Randomize
