She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
