and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
birth control should be required to get into college
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
