I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
