Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Randomize
