so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
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