I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
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