aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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