I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
